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50 Rules Kids Won't Learn in School: Real-World Antidotes to Feel-Good Education, by Charles J. Sykes

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Charles J. Sykes offers fifty life lessons not included in the self-esteem-laden, reality-light curriculum of most schools. Here are truths about what kids will encounter in the world post-schooling, and ideas for how parents can reclaim lost ground---not with pep talks and touchy-feely negotiations, but with honesty and respect. Sykes's rules are frank, funny, and tough minded, including:

#1 Life is not fair. Get used to it.
#7 If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure, so he tends to be a bit edgier. When you screw up, he's not going to ask you how you FEEL about it.
#15 Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping. They called it "opportunity."
#42 Change the oil.
#43 Don't let the success of others depress you.
#48 Tell yourself the story of your life. Have a point.

Each rule is explored with wise, pithy examples that parents, grandparents, and teachers can use to help children help themselves succeed---in school and out of it.

A few rules kids won't learn in school:
#9 Your school may have done away with winners and losers. Life hasn't.
#14 Looking like a slut does not empower you.
#29 Learn to deal with hypocrisy.
#32 Television is not real life.
#38 Look people in the eye when you meet them.
#47 You are not perfect, and you don't have to be.
#50 Enjoy this while you can.

• Sales Rank: #574584 in Books
• Published on: 2007-08-21
• Released on: 2007-08-21
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: 8.50" h x .56" w x 5.50" l, .65 pounds
• Binding: Hardcover
• 192 pages

From Publishers Weekly
Expanded from an original list of 14 first broadcast on his Milwaukee, Wis., radio talk show, the latest book from Sykes (Dumbing Down our Kids) equips parents to help tween- or teenage children find success in life beyond school. Taking on the education system's "modern bubble-wrap mentality" of "no losing, no disappointments, no harsh reality checks," Sykes takes a hard-line but humorous approach to instilling the discipline, morals and good sense that keep kids from becoming "sulky, self-centered, spoiled brats." Consider Rule 19: "It's not your parent's fault. If you screw up, you are responsible"; or Rule 14: "Looking like a slut does not empower you." Rules are largely rooted in common sense ("Change the oil"), traditional values ("Don't forget to say thank you") and the wisdom that only time can bring ("Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could"), and get fleshed out in punchy, chuckle-worthy commentary. Though he can be harsh ("You are not a victim. So stop whining"), Sykes helpfully points out that "Grown-ups forget how scary it is to be your age," and also that "You are not perfect, and you don't have to be" (illustrated in an amusing story about Mother Teresa misapplying a bandage); parents will appreciate Syke's no-nonsense style, but teenage readers may find him condescending (see Rule 21: "You're offended? So what? No, really. So what?").
Copyright � Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review
“Sykes takes a hard-line but humorous approach to instilling the discipline, morals and good sense that keep kids from becoming 'sulky, self-centered, spoiled brats.'” ―Publishers Weekly

From the Inside Flap

"Education consists mainly in what we have unlearned."---Mark Twain

Charles J. Sykes offers fifty life lessons not included in the self-esteem-laden, reality-light curriculum of most schools. Here are truths about what kids will encounter in the world post-schooling, and ideas for how parents can reclaim lost ground---not with pep talks and touchy-feely negotiations, but with honesty and respect. Sykes's rules are frank, funny, and tough minded, including:

#1 Life is not fair. Get used to it.
#7 If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure, so he tends to be a bit edgier. When you screw up, he's not going to ask you how you FEEL about it.
#15 Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping. They called it "opportunity."
#42 Change the oil.
#43 Don't let the success of others depress you.
#48 Tell yourself the story of your life. Have a point.

Each rule is explored with wise, pithy examples that parents, grandparents, and teachers can use to help children help themselves succeed---in school and out of it.

A few rules kids won't learn in school:
#9 Your school may have done away with winners and losers. Life hasn't.
#14 Looking like a slut does not empower you.
#29 Learn to deal with hypocrisy.
#32 Television is not real life.
#38 Look people in the eye when you meet them.
#47 You are not perfect, and you don't have to be.
#50 Enjoy this while you can.
author photo?: Yes―forwarded to Lorna Lloyd
Author Photo credit: No

Charles J. Sykes is the author of five previous books: A Nation of Victims, Dumbing Down Our Kids, Profscam, The End of Privacy, and The Hollow Men. His columns have appeared in numerous newspapers, including The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal. A radio and television host at WTMJ in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and a senior fellow at the Wisconsin Policy Research Institute, he is married and has three children.

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0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Five Stars
By Nathanael Philemont
Dope book keeps me grounded in not bloating expectations for the real world

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Three Stars
By NOLA YANKEE
Funny stuff, serious topics

6 of 9 people found the following review helpful.
Good Advice to Kids (A special educator's take)
By Kevin Currie-Knight
I work as a high-school special educator and, as such, I can attest to two things: that the advice offered in these pages is GREAT for teenagers, and that they certianly WILL NOT learn it in school!

Today's youth grows up an in an "entitlement" world where the prevailing view of self-esteem is "feeling good for no good reason," rather than "earning the right to feel good." They grow up in a fantastical world where they can have instant satisfaction without going though the rigors of hard work that NO ONE is telling them is fantastical. Except for Charles Sykes.

While this book is a collection of maxims such as "Life is not fair. Get used to it," followed by several-page elaborations, the themes of this book can be summed up thusly: live modestly, accept that hard work needs to be put in to get anything out, and live with the knowledge that to get ahead in anything, you have to earn it. Sykes writes in simple and direct language that, while likely meant for adults to read, the average high-schooler could easily absorb.

To be honest, I would love to use this with some of my classes, discussing with them such ideas as "You're not going to the NBS, so hold off on the bling and spare us the attitude," or "You are not immortal" (just two of the mythes prevalent with the high-school crowd that this book so correctly corrects). Students need to hear it, and teachers (and parents) need to say it. I doubt, though, that I would be able to get very far with some of them ("Looking like a slut does not empower you," and "No, you cannot be everything you dream," may get me in trouble with parents.)

Even so, it doesn't mean that YOU can't teach YOUR kids this stuff, and I highly reccomend that you do. If you don't, they certainly aren't going to learn it somewhere like school!

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• Sales Rank: #1536491 in Books
• Binding: Paperback

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Research on the early human embryo has long been recognized as essential to progress in a host of biomedical areas from reproductive medicine to the treatment of pediatric cancers. Now, with the possibility of stem cell research and cell replacement therapies, embryo research holds out the promise of cures for many serious disease conditions such as diabetes and Alzheimer's disease. Despite its importance, however, human embryo research has met powerful opposition. Drawing on his experience as a member of the NIH's Human Embryo Research Panel, Green offers a first-hand account of the embryo research debates. In telling this story, he periodically pauses to reflect on some of the leading philosophical challenges posed by embryo research and new interventions at the start of life. Among the questions he examines are: What is the impact of new biological information on our thinking about life's beginning? May parents risk injuring a child in order to have it? What role should religion play in shaping biomedical policy in a controversial area like this? This is a fascinating insider's account of one of the most important, if unsuccessful, recent efforts to come to terms with a controversial area of scientific research.

• Sales Rank: #2566430 in Books
• Published on: 2001-06-28
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: 6.10" h x 1.10" w x 9.10" l, 1.10 pounds
• Binding: Hardcover
• 256 pages

Review

"...it's important to grapple with this book in the debate about human life's beginning and its value." - The National Catholic Bioethics Quarterly

"Serious readers of science, philosophy, law and government who are interested in medical research cannot fail to enjoy The Human Embryo Research Debates. It should be required reading for students across these disciplines, not to mention for those on the right of so-called 'abortion politics'- if they care about the arguments, that is."--Nature December 2001

"...an absorbing account and an invaluable resource."--JAMA April 2002

"Serious readers of science, philosophy, law and government who are interested in medical research cannot fail to enjoy The Human Embryo Research Debates. It should be required reading for students across these disciplines, not to mention for those on the right of so-called 'abortion politics'- if they care about the arguments, that is."--Nature December 2001

"...an absorbing account and an invaluable resource."--JAMA April 2002

About the Author
Ronald M. Green is at Dartmouth College.

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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Biased but informative
By M. Lenz
It is obvious the author is biased to no-holds bar stem cell research. It does have some good information though if you want to know more about the debates of embryo research you just have to be able to read between the lines and think for yourself. I would suggest Stem Cell Now as a less biased report.

3 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
The one book to read on this subject
By Gregory E. Pence
If you're only going to read one book on this subject, or need one book for a paper or report, this is the go-to book. Dartmouth professor Ron Green was on a national commission that studied the use of human embryos in research and he provides an insider's look at the deliberations, politics, and pressures on his commission.
He also offers a balanced, humane, scholarly look at the question, plus accurate information on the embryology and biology surrounding the issue.All in all, a great book.

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Useful covering
By pj
A book that offers different ideas and understandings thus aiding debate and discussion. Helps you to see and understand different viewpoints even if you don't agree and enables you to evaluate these different points of views.

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• Sales Rank: #6233565 in Books
• Published on: 2014-01-17
• Released on: 2013-10-17
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: 9.00" h x .30" w x 6.00" l, .46 pounds
• Binding: Paperback
• 150 pages

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• Published on: 1605
• Binding: Hardcover

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[D232.Ebook] Download A Phrase and Sentence Dictionary of Spoken Russian: Russian-English, English-Russian, by U. S. War Department

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More than 11,500 entries, first English-Russian, then Russian-English, containing exact idiomatic translations for over 30,000 phrases and sentences. Also includes 15,000-word grammatical introduction. Focus is on phrase or sentence as basic unit of communication, method now recognized as best.

• Sales Rank: #672082 in Books
• Published on: 1958-06-01
• Released on: 1958-06-01
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: 9.23" h x 1.14" w x 6.15" l, 1.68 pounds
• Binding: Paperback
• 592 pages

Most helpful customer reviews

10 of 11 people found the following review helpful.
Easy way to build English or Russian Smalltalk conversation
By george
Finally,I've discovered an easy and working way to converse with Russian officials,or tourists,or just the opposite with American scouts or White House inner circle people without ever trying to memorize all those declensions or irregular forms.
The right way to learn a foreign language is to hear to the other people speaking and then repeat what they say in the right situation.Just like babies or illiterate immigrants do.Otherwise,in about 50 years of hard working on a grammar or syntax you'll end up being a grammar scholar but still you won't be able to converse with native people. Sometimes you think you're smart enough and you buy a dictionary for yourself and then following the rules of your own language you start building phrases and sentences that no one but you will understand.It's because you played your own rules in a strange field.You see my point?
And this is the reason I'm buying two copies of this book from Amazon.This book contains every kind of situation you want to fit in your conversation,I mean ready-made blocks,whether you need to talk to that Russian guy in a cubicle next door,or to an American lady in a government office. Question: why this particular War Dept Book of 1970? Because they did the job right,because they used the right approach.You know those military guys - they always one step ahead...
Now,why do I need two copies of one book - the first one I want to keep at my work to speak with the customers, the second one,to keep home and answer those pesky telemarketers' calls.I'm really excited that I finally have found this book,not in my local library,but on Amazon site!I really need it,and the book will help me. Excuse me for my poor English - well,I was born in Russia,and English is a foreign language to me.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
the most useful Russian-English Dictionary
By Tim
I browsed Russian-English dictionaries for a couple of weeks before deciding on this one. This one had a few features that made it the obvious choice. Most importantly, rather than just being a list of words, this is indeed a sentence and phrase dictionary in the sense that you can look up a word and see it used in several example sentences. Seeing the words in context sure helps a lot in my view. Also, the appendecies I found to be very valuable. Lists of translations of well-known cities, countries, and nationalities are given. I found that seeing familar words (such as cities) helps me understand the logic of the alphabet and how to use the sounds properly. Lists of given names and foods also help bring this language to life, making it more than just scholorly. The downfalls are insignificant in comparison. But, it's a few decades old, and it goes without saying a lot has changed in Russia since the 1970's. That doesn't affect the language a whole lot, but appendices that aren't refering to SSR's would be helpful. A 2000 updated version of this very book would get my 5 stars, but I won't be too picky, since it's still helping me more than any other dictionary every will.

9 of 10 people found the following review helpful.
Russian words as they are actually used.
By K. Brinton
This Phrase and Sentence Dictionary, the Kenneth Katzner Russian dictionary, and possibly the Frequency Dictionary are the three most useful books for the practical learning of Russian for everyday use. Living in the U.S., I can glean from this book that key phrase or sentence to say precisely what I want to my Russian client. It's seeing the word in context that makes the book valuable and unique. (There happens to be a Spanish equivalent, for those who are interested.) Beyond useful, this dictionary is often even entertaining! Be warned: The book appears with both sewn and glued spines. Of course the sewn version will last far longer.

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• Sales Rank: #650354 in eBooks
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Most helpful customer reviews

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Understanding positive visualization, and the laws of attraction
By excellentwheels
I came across this book, because I was looking for some information on visualization and affirmation techniques as I'm very interested in the psychology of positive thoughts, and the effect that they can have on self-esteem, and a person's overall quality of life. And this book definitely fits the bill. He teaches readers how to use affirmations and positive visualization techniques that are used by psychologists and psychiatrists and are also included in many Buddhist meditation practices to bring more positive energy, self-esteem in emotional stability and quality of life to practitioners of positive thinking and affirmation techniques. That theory is that eventually using affirmations which is the technique of repeating definitive statements such as "I will get that promotion." Over and over again to provide motivation to achieve the goal, after reading this book I can honestly see why psychologists and psychiatrists use this technique to help patients improve their quality of life. Positive visualization techniques are very relaxing. I swear I could feel the stress just melting away, and it's kind of funny because you're not directly thinking about a goal. You are more or less seeing yourself as having achieved a specific goal. Sort of like watching a home movie or a dream, this technique allows you to clearly visualize the steps necessary to achieve a specific goal, which gives you the necessary motivation to stay on track. As I say, I found the techniques described in this book to be very relaxing and very useful. And I'm glad I stumbled across it when I did as I plan on adding some of these techniques to my meditation practices so that I can relax even more and have more positive energy, which will help me achieve all of my life goals.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
I couldn't keep reading it, awful grammatical errors, ...
By David Wilkey
I couldn't keep reading it, awful grammatical errors, way too many, it distracted from the content. You lost credibility. Have someone check it before submitting to be seen as an authority.

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
align frequency and desire! great reminders for me
By Gavin
I am a strong believer in the law of attraction, though my frequency does not always align with my desires. So the author points out some key reminders that help me to be more present and focused over the past few days. It becomes clear in his writing that the author utilizes some of Tony Robbins' strategies and setting time aside in the moment to center yourself to tackle everything in the day is so critical an something that I've put in the backburner. I am sleeping later working, but I know my morning ritual is such a huge part of me that gives me much vitality. A great beginners guide to the Law and can were as helpful and refreshing reminders for practitioners.

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In this compelling book, Elan Golomb identifies the crux of the emotional and psychological problems of millions of adults. Simply put, the children of narcissist -- offspring of parents whose interest always towered above the most basic needs of their sons and daughters -- share a common belief: They believe they do not have the right to exist.

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• why do many of our relationships seem to be "reruns" of the past
• how one's body image can be formed by faulty parenting
• how anger must be acknowledge to be overcome
• and, most important, how even the most traumatized self can be healed.

Rooted in a profoundly humanist traditional approach, and suffused with the benefit of the latest knowledge about intrafamily relationships, Trapped in the Mirror offers more than the average self-help book; it is truly the first self-heal book for millions.

• Sales Rank: #15645 in Books
• Brand: William Morrow & Company, Inc.
• Published on: 1995-03-28
• Released on: 1995-03-28
• Original language: English
• Number of items: 1
• Dimensions: 9.25" h x .68" w x 6.13" l, .66 pounds
• Binding: Paperback
• 272 pages

Features

• Great product!

From Library Journal
It seems reasonable to expect self-help books to accomplish one of three goals: to explain behavior, to assist readers to develop their potential or to change unwanted behavior patterns, or to motivate readers. This book fails on all three counts. People who may be attracted to the concept have probably already realized that their relationship with a self-absorbed parent has caused problems, and they will not learn much else. The suggestions for change are too general to be useful, and the tone is at times spiteful and depressing. Susan Forward and Buck Craig's Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life (Bantam, 1989) covers the same topic in a more positive and helpful fashion. Not recommended.
- Mary Ann Hughes, Washington State Univ. Libs., Pullman
Copyright 1992 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Kirkus Reviews
A sober study by a clinical psychologist of the destructive legacy that narcissistic parents bequeath to their children and the troubling characteristics those children share as adults. Narcissists behave, Golomb says, as if they are the center of the universe, organizing their lives around denial of negative feelings about themselves. Their children, forced to conform to parental thinking, grow up with a range of subtle emotional disabilities, most commonly a distorted view of their capacities. All too frequently this damaged sense of self-worth interferes with their search for autonomy, their performance, and with their other adult relationships. Golomb, child of a narcissistic father, gives examples from the lives of friends and patients, as well as from her own experiences, and shows how these strained views of reality can be passed along from one generation to the next or can shadow an entire family's happiness. She is particularly adept in discussing why some people persist in the most puzzling behaviors (bankrolling one lover after another, for example) and how they see and defend these patterns. Although Golomb has experimented with meditation techniques and group treatment, she finds psychoanalytic psychotherapy the most consistently helpful set of strategies and suggests ways for adults to approach narcissistic parents and to change the nature of these relationships. ``Narcissism is a tale of codependency,'' she observes. ``If we want to be treated in a different way, the change in treatment must start with how we present ourselves to [narcissists].'' Golomb writes in language more accessible to other therapists than to general readers, unleavened by humor, and without a specific agenda. But difficult as her approach may be, it's sound and ultimately rewarding as well. -- Copyright �1991, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.

About the Author
Elan Golomb is a graduate of Bennington College and earned her Ph.D. in clinical psychology and her certificate in psychoanalysis and psychotherapy from New York University. She has been in private practice in New York since 1972.

Most helpful customer reviews

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Written with understanding and compassion
By John T. Robinson
Her writing style was easily understood. Some of the examples were too personalized. Her general observations and insights were helpful. Unfortunately like many of these books it stopped short in the healing realm or how to heal. It is easy to identify narcissistic family traits and that as adults the symptoms of suffering. It is much harder to write about healing which this book barely addresses. Your feelings will be validated but that is as far as it goes.

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
The best self-help book ever!
By BranMaxDaddy
This book changed my life! Knowing that I am the child of a narcissist (and probably one as well), helped me truly face my past and help create a positive future. There are so many pearls of wisdom in this book and the stories told are so helpful.

I like to underline interested sentences when I read. Every page in this book has many sentences underlined!

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Well written, extremely insightful.
By JKohl
Excellent read for researching or understanding the issues many adults face who were raised by controlling, narsasistic parent(s).

See all 215 customer reviews...

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